by Alice (@thisisalicerose)
The two week wait refers to the period between ovulation and your expected period when you’re trying to conceive. It’s the duration that it usually takes for a positive – or negative – result to show up on a pregnancy test. Surviving the two week wait when you’re trying to conceive is no easy feat; it’s a time that can be full of anxiety, what ifs(?) and symptom spotting. Alice is a qualified coach offering fertility mindset support. She’s an IVF mum, has 3 children and is well versed in empowering and supporting those on their fertility journey.
The two week wait: urgh! Right? We went through loads of fertility treatment and IVF to have our first baby and I remember each two week wait so clearly. I dreaded it. I felt sick with anxiety, consumed by the possible outcome. I was neurotic and so scared of how I would cope if it didn’t work, yet again. Over time, I found ways not just to cope but to totally reframe how I approached ‘waiting’ all together.
10 tips for surviving the two week wait when you’re trying to conceive
- Put your mental wellbeing first
Think about what will be most helpful for you during this time. Would you like to stay busy? Would you rather hide at home? Prepare for the two week wait by considering how you’d like to tackle it in a way that prioritises YOU.
- Step away from Google
Stay focused on what’s happening for you. Step away from the forums and stop searching for someone with the same background as you with a positive result…it’s your story.
- Try not to symptom spot during the two week wait
Symptom spotting is an exhausting game. You won’t know for sure until you know my friend. Hold on. Until then, be compassionate with yourself. Again, stay away from Google.
- Release the pressure on yourself to only ‘think positive’
It’s not normal or humanly possible to do so! Don’t worry about the manifestation thing (only think positive to attract positivity…) just live truthfully. It’s much, much more gentle and actually more positive to cry or scream if you need to! Focus more on staying present and releasing negativity than feeling as though you’re jinxing things if you’re not positive all the time.
- You are not protecting yourself by ‘not getting your hopes up’
The same goes for only thinking negative thoughts to protect yourself. It doesn’t work…sorry to break it to you! It just keeps you on a negative, downwards spiral which isn’t helpful either. Just be truthful with where you are day to day.
- Affirmations are your friend
Use them every time you find your thoughts spiralling into this kind of realm during the two week wait: “how will I cope if this doesn’t work?!” Replacing the fear-led thoughts with compassionate ones: “I take each step day by day; I have the support I need whatever happens” is a far more empowering and calming way through.
- Decide who to share this time with
Sometimes it can feel a bit much when lots of people know what you’re going through.
- Choose your support system and set boundaries
Equally, it’s really important to feel supported throughout this process. Make sure you have a trusted support network in place. It’ll help you to be able to open up in a safe space where people understand what you’re going through. You can set boundaries – “I’ll tell you when I know the result, please don’t ask me.”
- Take it one day at a time
Two weeks feels like a long time when you’re waiting. Take it one day at a time, one hour or even one minute at a time. Stay in the present. It can be scary to look too far into the future and lead to more anxiety or fear. What helps you stay grounded? It’s different for us all! I loved going to the theatre, reading really good books, going outside, journalling and listening to meditations…what’s on your list? Write one out.
- Know that everything you’re feeling is absolutely valid
You’re not overreacting. Surviving the two week wait when you’re trying to conceive is really challenging and you are a human being, not a robot.
Alice is a fertility mindset mentor. She has a membership called the Life Raft to help support those on their fertility journey, as well as a Two Week Wait pocket course.